


Happy Travels

by Dearieforever



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 17:25:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dearieforever/pseuds/Dearieforever
Summary: Rumple and Belle are on their honeymoon and have an- interesting stay at a run down hotel.  Set after season 3 except Bae is alive.





	Happy Travels

It was the perfect time to go on a real honeymoon. There were no villains running rampant in Storybrooke (at the moment at least), and Rumple had solved the problem of the magic barrier around the town. He and Belle had been married a little over a month, and had packed up the car for a road trip. They'd spent many happy hours deciding which places they wanted to visit most, reserved the hotels, and planned everything. One detail they didn't plan on was the Cadillac breaking down in a small town not far from Chicago.

The mechanic had been helpful enough, but explained there was no way the car would be fixed until the next day. There would be no choice but to spend the night there.

“Are there any good hotels in town?” Rumple asked.

“Well there's the Second Street Inn. It doesn't have any frills to it, but it's dirt cheap.”

That hardly mattered to Rumple. He could have afforded to stay at the finest hotels. He could have afforded to buy the finest hotels. There was no where else in town though, so they would have to make the best of it. Rumple and Belle looked at the worn carpet and peeling paint when they stepped in the lobby.

“There's a difference between dirt cheap and dirt,” he said. 

“Well we are doing a few updates in the near future,” the manager told him, coming out from behind the desk.

“Hopefully those updates bring this place up to at least the twentieth century,” Rumple commented, noticing the vacuum in the corner. It was a model that dated back to at least the 1930's. He looked back at the manager. “My wife and I will be in town only for tonight, and will need a room.”

“Newlyweds?” the manager guessed. He smiled, but that smile had nothing to do with happiness for the couple. He knew newlyweds could be offered the bridal suite and charged more. “I'll show you to the best room in the place.”

Rumple had to pay upfront, and they were lead to the room. It looked halfway decent, but when the door was open an overwhelming odor nearly made the couple gag.

“If this is the best room here, the building needs to be condemned.” Rumple looked at his wife. “Belle I'm not making you stay in a place like this.”

“There's no where else to go,” she reminded him. “We can't even sleep in the car. It's in the mechanic's shop and locked up by now. Maybe we can at least air it out.” 

They went to the window. It was the crank open kind, and the crank lay uselessly broken off on the window ledge. The best they could do was to turn on the air conditioner to bring in some outside air and take a walk while it aired out. In spite of the smell they were both hungry. The diner in town was closed by now, but there was a gas station within walking distance where they could buy lunch meat, milk, bread, paper plates, and cups.

They made a quick meal at the picnic table outside the gas station and carried the food that was left back to the hotel room. There was a refrigerator where they could store the meat and milk, but when Rumple opened it there was only an inch gap that was not filled in with ice. 

“If this is what they meant by the sign that said free ice, I'm suing for false advertising.”

Belle couldn't help laughing, and Rumple laughed along with her as he took her in his arms.

“I'm so sorry Belle. This isn't how I expected our honeymoon to go. I thought at the very least we wouldn't be staying in a place that left me wishing for my old hovel.”

“It's hardly your fault,” she told him and kissed him. “And I did say I wanted adventure. This certainly counts.” 

At least they could both laugh about it, and thankfully Rumple had a few magical items in his suitcase. Among them was a potion designed to melt ice with just a few drops. They stored the perishable food, and went to throw out the bags. There was no lid on the garbage can, and when Belle went closer she covered her nose.

“Rumple? I think I just found part of the smell.”

In the can was a half eaten pizza along with a receipt for it- dated from the week before. Rumple set the can outside the room door. Housekeeping could take care of it, like it or not. Coming back into the room he went to lock the door. There was a bolt lock and a chain- which hung uselessly unable to be connected to the broken latch. The bolt would prevent intruders, but Rumple would be having his cane ready if anyone came in uninvited. Now there was still an odor in the air, but at least it was better than before.

The worn out couple decided to take a shower before bed. Unfortunately the last occupant had left enough hair in the drain to make it look like a small animal had curled up there, and a layer of grime clung to the bottom of the tub. 

“Just wonderful. The only shower in the world where you come out less clean than you went in,” Rumple grimaced. There was no way he or Belle were using it.

It was doubtful that the sheets were clean enough to sleep under, so they laid down on the covers and tried to get some rest. That idea lasted until a symphony of squeaking springs and moaning could be heard from the next room. Rumple sat up in bed and looked at the ceiling. 

“You have got to be fecking kidding me!” he exclaimed, his Frontlands accent more pronounced with his exasperation. Both he and Belle were in near hysterics of laughter within seconds.

“At least someone is enjoying this place,” Belle said between laughs. “And you can't exactly go knock on their door and tell them to get a room.”

Rumple didn't have the magic he needed to soundproof the room, but he could at use a potion to temporarily make himself and Belle hear things at extremely low volumes. Finally they fell asleep holding each other.

The next morning, their car was ready to go, and after reloading the car Rumple asked Belle to wait outside while he spoke to the manager. Belle could guess how their conversation would go.

“Just don't do anything that makes me have to call Bae to tell him his father got arrested.”

“I won't get arrested, but that's about all I can promise. I'm not paying for sleeping in a place like this.” 

Belle stayed in the car while Rumple went to confront the manager.

“That room was absolutely disgusting. It stank. We could hear the neighbors and how they- spent their time- without any trouble. The shower is filthy, the garbage hasn't been taken out in a week, the windows don't open, and the refrigerator was almost completely filled with ice. You had better give me back what I paid.”

“Look buddy, you needed a roof over your head last night, and you got that. I even gave you a special rate.”

“It would have been too much if you had been the one paying us to stay here.” He slammed his cane down, and anyone seeing the way he did that and the look on his face would have understood it as a threat. The manager looked concerned but picked up the phone.

“Oh get out of here before I call the cops!”

“Oh please do, Dearie. Let's see how long it takes to get the health department involved in this. I might also mention I'm a lawyer.”

The expensive looking suit he wore left no doubt he was an important man, so with a reluctant glare the manager handed Rumple back his money.

“Fine. But don't ever let me catch you asking to stay here again!”

“Believe me, that will not be a problem.”

Going back to the car, he and Belle set off on their travels again. The next night they stayed at one of the finest hotels. The dump they had left would soon be only a humorous story to tell their children and grandchildren.


End file.
